


at the end of the universe; at the end of my soul

by albion



Series: brothers; not in blood but in bond [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Dub!Con, Dubious Consent, M/M, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Pseudo-Incest, Sibling Incest, Slash, Thor is not a good person, Thorki - Freeform, Thunderfrost - Freeform, Violence, all words for penis sound awkward, brotherly love gone wrong, brothers that make me weep, neither is Loki, oh man where do i even start with these two, this is not healthy love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-18
Updated: 2012-07-18
Packaged: 2017-11-10 05:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/462674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albion/pseuds/albion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor is dangerous, Loki is dangerous, and dangerous men are willing to do terrible things to each other. Especially when they might just love each other. Or hate each other; the difference is hard to distinguish.</p>
            </blockquote>





	at the end of the universe; at the end of my soul

**Author's Note:**

> I started a series! orz what have I got myself into. I don't even know how this happened, I was going to write a frostiron fic and then this appeared. Oops.
> 
> This is a continuation of the story started in "What fools are made by mighty love", which is a really awful title now that I think about it, because this is not love. Not at all. This is dangerous stuff we're dealing with here.
> 
> I wrote this whilst listening to the Sherlock Holmes (2009) soundtrack, and also [Resonance (Empty Stone)](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K8Csb69ggs) by Salyu, which is an incredibly beautiful song, by the way. English translation of the lyrics [here](http://www.megchan.com/lyrics/index.php?title=Lily_Chou-Chou/Kyoumei_%28Kuukyo_no_Ishi%29).

_An echo is born from my body_  
And when it reaches you  
It resonates, surpassing the words’ meaning  
And spreading out 

 

 

Thor wonders how their relationship became like this.

 

They stand together, pressed together in the half lit shadows of the Midgardian bus shelter. Loki’s breathing is ragged and wet, and Thor can’t quite work out if it’s from a collapsed lung, Mjölnir having slammed him straight in the chest, or the fact that Thor is currently crushing Loki’s windpipe in an iron grip.

 

He can’t let go however, for the moment he does, Loki will vanish into the wind, and Thor will be left alone. Again.

 

Steve Rogers had warned him about this.

 

“I know he’s your brother, Thor, and I know you don’t want to give up hope. But because of you rushing off today, Clint’s in the infirmary with a broken leg and Tony needs to do some major repairs to the Iron Man armour. You can’t just run off every time Loki appears. You’re part of a team. We need to _act_ like a team.”

 

The captain’s words had made Thor feel the exact same way he had when his father had berated him, after the fateful trip to Jötunheimr. He feels angry with himself, for forsaking his comrades in a hopeless pursuit. For slipping back into the way he was before, only thinking of his own motivations.

 

But instead of pursuing his own desires, this time he stumbles down a path blind; chasing his brother day after day, night after night, and each day he follows Loki further is a step away from the things he should hold most dear.

 

Loki coughs wetly, and Thor sees dark blood freckle his wrist, where he holds his brother captive by the throat.

 

They look into each other’s eyes, and Thor notices how Loki’s green eyes have become spotted with red. But from tiredness of from blood, he knows not.

 

“What do you want, Thor?” Loki rasps, and gone is the usual confidence in his voice. He sounds tired, he looks tired, but all Thor can see is the darkness of Loki’s blood on his skin. He is filled with an overwhelming urge to lick it off, to feel Loki shudder against him, to hear his sharp intake of breath.

 

Thor hates himself. Hates how he forced a kiss from Loki, the last time they were in each other’s presence; hates that his body is still not satisfied. He wants to rip Loki’s cries from his mouth and crush him under his superior weight and to hold him tightly, so that Loki cannot spread his wings and fly away again.

 

Thor lets go.

 

Free from the support of Thor’s hand, Loki stumbles down to his knees, arm grabbing wildly for something to hold onto. He manages to grasp the corner of a bench, and breathes deeply. Thor wonders just how much damage he has done to his brother.

 

(He wants to pick him up and take him to a healer; to kiss his throat and run his hands through his hair, to hold him close and comfort him, the way they used to as children.)

 

(He wants to crush him under Mjölnir; to feel his chest bow under the weight of it, to kick his legs apart and rip his golden armour from his body. Thor wants to take him like that, Loki screaming and wheezing for air and desperately trying to push Thor away.)

 

A sudden kick to the back of the knee has Thor surprised from his thoughts and down heavily against the glass of the bus shelter. It shatters against the force and sends Thor tumbling down into a pile of broken glass.

 

Loki hunches over him; blood dripping from his mouth onto Thor’s face, and something else that Thor realises belatedly are tears.

 

A knife appears in Loki’s hand: curved and wickedly sharp, with a patterned handle. It’s one of Loki’s favourites, Thor knows, and as his younger brother brings it down, Thor draws in a deep breath—

 

Loki stops at Thor’s throat, pressing the blade against the delicate skin. He moves his mouth close to Thor’s ear, and Thor tries desperately to stop the burn of arousal that shoots through him.

 

It doesn’t work very well. Loki notices, and _breathes_ , straight into Thor’s ear, as his free hand grabs the bulge of his brother’s groin.

 

Thor moans, the sound rich and deep. Loki smiles wickedly, and presses the blade closer, not quite pricking the skin, but close enough to start hurting.

 

“I know what you want from me, _brother_ ,” he hisses, and Thor wonders why it is Loki can only call him brother when they are as far apart as brothers can be. “And I will give you what you want. And then you can slink back to your friends and to the All-Father and you can tell them that you fucked Loki Laufeyson, the man you call your _brother_ , and you _enjoyed it_.”

 

Loki is still breathing heavily; wounded, but a wounded animal is dangerous, Thor knows. The blade presses harder, and now Thor can feel his skin slice, and the blood begin to seep out.

 

“And then… then you will leave me alone. Or I will kill you. Slowly, painfully, _intimately_.”

 

On the word ‘intimately’ he squeezes Thor’s cock hard and pushes him down, straddling him. Thor is acutely aware that they are in the middle of a Midgardian street in the dead of night, but the street is surprisingly quiet for part of downtown New York. Loki probably placed an enchantment before their battle: didn’t want the other Avengers to realise what was going on and make an appearance.

 

The silence of their surroundings works perfectly with what Loki has decided to do to him, and the thought occurs to Thor that perhaps Loki planned this all ahead, ever since that day Thor took from him a kiss that has burned in his mind over and over again, between sweaty sheets and the dark comfort of night.

 

He doesn’t understand Loki’s mind, the way it warps around and in on itself, like a maze of secret tunnels that only Loki knows the exit to. Loki is dangerous, and Loki is powerful, and Loki is _chaos_.

 

Thor is suddenly afraid. Before he was afraid of what he might do to Loki, given the chance.

 

Now he is afraid of what Loki might do to _him_.

 

The clasps of his armour are roughly undone, and Thor moans despite himself when Loki draws his penis out into the open air. Loki unclasps his own armour, and is soon struggling to pull down his leather trousers with one hand; the other still holding the knife to Thor’s throat.

 

Thor swallows.

 

“I could… I could help you with that, Loki.”

 

Loki narrows his eyes, before giving a curt nod. Thor reaches toward his brother, and removes his trousers with an almost reverence. When Loki is bared to him, Thor watches dry mouthed as Loki sucks on two fingers, and then reaches to carefully open himself up.

 

There are no words between them.

 

When Loki has deemed himself ready, he positions himself against Thor, and pushes in swiftly. They both groan, and soon Loki is moving, taking Thor as deep as he can. Thor curses, for this is all everything he wants and detests. He hates himself for revelling in the moment, hates Loki for doing this.

 

They both cannot stop.

 

And so they rut together, like animals, on the dark emptiness of a Midgard street. Thor can feel Heimdall watching, knows that Loki has not shielded their presence so that all can know Thor Odinson’s shame at wanting his brother so badly.

 

When Thor comes, he feels tears push from his eyes and drip down the sides of his face. Loki comes soon after, and pulls back slowly, breathing heavily.

 

The knife hasn’t left Thor’s throat.

 

Loki moves to stand, but Thor’s hands are free and he grabs his brother’s shoulders and pulls him down for a kiss. Loki struggles and his concentration breaks, the knife vanishes and he doesn’t want _this_ , he doesn’t want any expression of intimacy, for kisses are personal and Thor does not have the right to take this from him, not again.

 

Loki bites.

 

Thor falls back onto the hard concrete sidewalk. His brother is seething in rage, but Thor can tell that he is absolutely exhausted and probably still wounded; his magic not having quite fully healed him yet.

 

Thor is just as exhausted, but he reaches out shaky hands to heave himself up, and winces as his palms slice against the broken glass still littering the ground. He shudders to think of what his back must look like.

 

Loki rises to his feet. He redresses himself hastily, and before Thor can seize him again, he is gone.

 

Thor staggers back to the half destroyed bus shelter, picks up Mjölnir and breathes. Again. And again.

 

His heart feels empty.

 

 

_What hurts more than the joy_  
And pain of meeting you  
Is the empty stone  
Lurking in my heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tumblr if you want to ask any questions about my writing, or maybe if you just feel like it! It's full of Tom Hiddleston and Marvel and The Hollow Crown and brothers that make me weep.
> 
>  
> 
> [byleistrs.tumblr.com](http://byleistrs.tumblr.com/)


End file.
